The river is so swollen it flooded over the water-side staircase. Inconvenient, yes, but a rather charming sight, all in all.  Water seems so playful lapping at stairs (although I suppose flood victims would disagree with me on that point).

I learned how to ski recently. Well, I learned how to lose my skis and poles while sliding down the mountain on my face. So, pretty exciting.

Ah, things are dull. Higher education has it's moderate charm, but, gracious, does the end of it seem long off. I'd like to finally be away from the routine of standard learning. I'd like to begin a different sort of phase, without running my schedule my deadlines. Still, how boring would it become if I had no goal to work towards? Perhaps humans need to always be striving for one thing or another, no matter how small or monumental that it is. My assumtion was that if a person's is free of obligations, then they're free; however, its becomig pretty apparent that such a thing is flat-out impossible. Everyone has something  they've gotta do. Ah well, such is the state of things.

I like Poptarts.

Strawberry. Blueberry. Blue whale. Killer whale. Killer instinct. Serial killer. Serial number. Phone number. Phone Line. Lifeline. Life sized. Life saver. Life jacket. Yellow jacket. Mellow yellow. Mellow out. Out and about. Outside. Inside. Sideways. Freeway. Free ride. Bus ride. Bus driver. Backseat driver. Back door. Door jam. Grape jam. Grape vine. Ivy vine. Ivy league. Justice league. Justice system. System failure. Alarm system. Alarm clock. Counterclock wise. Counter top. Top hat. Baseball cap. Milk cap. Milk bottle. Bottle rocket. Space rocket. Space flight. Delayed flight. Delayed reaction.

......

BOO!

......

Scared?

I've come to a thoughtful, fatalistic patch, which has set me to wondering about what is really important in the world, to one such as myself. 

Pondering what holds us to life is a moderately natural human trait. Some times its uplifting (thank you Maude), and other times its rather disheartening (thank you Hamlet). In any case, most people do it at one time or another. 

After a bit of soul-searching, I've come to the realization. I've discovered what keeps me engaged. Life's largest enchantment, which leave me ready to face each day and enjoy myself fully in doing so, is the ability to orgasm. Without that, life would lose a good deal of its charm.

So, here's to you, orgasm. Thanks for perking things up.

God, I hate grasshoppers. My loathing for them is only topped by my disgust of the movie American Psycho.

They're ridiculously long legs, bent unnaturally behind their repulsive backs. Those evil plotting eyeballs half the size of their heads.

Hate them. So much.

What is so wrong with a musical?

Many of us who enjoy such displays are shamed into silence by the criticizing masses. However, I stand up. For truth, and justice, and the long-abused musical.

In a musical, you do not simply tell your sweetheart of your affections towards them. Oh no. You produce soaring love ballad, in which your dearest, and occasionally several townspeople, will joyfully participate in.

You do not simply state that you are downtrodden. You declare you anguish aloud, sometimes including a story of the tragedy that led you to your dejection. Townspeople will occasionally join in this as well.  

And finally, you do not simply die. Either you sing of your immient death and of the pain or peace that you feel, or your love/friend/foe (or the ever-present townspeople) sing of it for you. 

A musical is a world in which everyone can dance well and make passable music, and a person rarely does either alone. Ever major life event brings about a big number. Which is, of course ridiculous. The magic of these shows are in their absurdity. And so, I declare my love for musicals long-standing and ever-lasting. 

(Enter townspeople) 

Well puddings, I am off. I hence forth, in the hopes of advancing my intellect and developing myself into a well-rounded citizen of society. At the moment, I am irregualr in my roundness. Soon, however, I will be a flawless sphere, bouncing away into sunny cities to join mankind in it's struggle to better itself before we leap from this mortal coil.

So...back to school.

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;  Beep beep.

Well, puddings, the holiday of Christmas has come and gone. I'm sure many of you are wondering what Christmas is all about. Perhaps you have your own explaination.

It's about the love of family and friends, say the senitmental types .

The birth of the savior, say the church-goers.

Money and greed, say the materialistic dinkuses.

So, what importance does Christmas really have, in this world of ours? Is there one meaning that the population of the world can agree on? I say nay, dear friends.  Love and money and baby Jesuses aside, Christmas carries with it a personal value, and a connotation specific to an individual's experiences.  This celebrated day has a special meaning for everyone.

Hence, to me, along with the joy of the holiday season and the love shared by so many, Christmas will always, without fail, bring in tow the obscure, crippling fear of Disco Duck.

The infinite Being looked at space. "Hmph. A tad dull," bespoke the grand Being. "Let there be some stuff."

And some stuff came into existence.

"Good deal," the Being boomed. "Let there be things on the stuff."

And things materialized onto the stuff.

"Groovy," it delcared with infinite wisdom. "Let there be people to mess with the things on the stuff."

And, by its command, people were born, and messed with the things on the stuff in the Being's holy name.

"Sweet," it said unto its creations.

And there was much rejoicing.

Yes the Moho. It came along and turned my world upside down. I felt emotions I had never felt, had longings that I never thought possible,  and grew three extra limbs.

For those of you who aren't aware of the glory that is Moho, it's the nickname  for a dicontinuity (imaginary line) between the Earth's mantel and crust.

Oh Moho, why did you leave me?

There was a time when I had a pirate lover. He was a true gentleman, a fighter, a lover, a poet. He possessed a single eye, a single leg, and a single arm.  The leg was replaced with a wooden peg, the arm with an extendable steel hook. His eyepatch was a work of art, sewn leather depicting a great battle from ancient times. Oh, how I loved him, his accessories and all. He was the joy of my life, the treasure of my heart.

Until......

The Moho.....

Alright. I've just inherited quite a lot of tbuck money, so I need to get rid of some. Hence, we'll have a game.

Hello, hello, welcome to "Name that Random Quote from a Barely-known Movie!" Correctly identify the mystery quote, and our prize board will send you not one, not three, but 700 tbucks!

Now, here's the quote. Read carefully. It is a quick exchange between A* and B*  *(Names changed to preserve mystery)

    & nbsp; A: The earth is my body, my head is in the stars. Who said that?

    & nbsp; B: I dunno.

    & nbsp; A: Oh. I suppose I did. 

Who will correctly name that random quote from a barely-known movie? *cue music*

The Neverending Story. Great book. First published in Germany as Die Unehdiche Geschichte. Good times. Then again, Germany also turned out a stunningly dreary version of "Hamlet" that nearly ruined poor Shakespear's play. So, they're on even ground.

Movie recommendation of the week: Dodgeball (if you enjoy a lot of stupid comedy and find people getting hit my fast-flung objects highly amusing, like myself.) 

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."

Hello! Sit down, won't you? Would you like a cup of coffee? No? Tea? How about hot chocolate with mini-marshmellows?

....well, no need to be vulgar.

In any case, here's the deal. I'll be needing a few good men (or women, we're an equal opportunity employer) to find the holy grail. And, no worries, there's no evil plot to rule the earth or discover the fountain of eternal life in this. It's simply that our flatware is terribly uninteresting, and we thought the piece might liven things up. So! If this sounds like the sort of job you'd enjoy, just fill out this quick survey about meat, and we can be on our way.

So, I've come to the conclusion that the greatest thing in life is the letter W. I feel so thankful to have made this discovery.

Also,  Scott Bakula is a most intriguing actor.

So, now you see Lonestar, evil will always triumph because Good is dumb.